steve-dave.rb

#!/usr/bin/env ruby
# encoding: utf-8

require 'uri'
require 'net/http'
require 'net/https'
require 'json'
require 'cgi'

#Gifs to choose from
statuses = ["Tell 'Em Steve-Dave!",
          "You know what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like this?",
          "Sooner or later I rub everybody the wrong way.",
          "I think I'm a sofa...",
          "Faster than Walt Flanagan's dog...",
          "That kid is back on the escalator again!",
          "Wow! It's a schooner!",
          "Do you want ants? This is how we get ants.",
          "If you aim to cheat the devil, you owe him an offering.",
          "Did you check your TCP/IP settings?",
          "We're gonna need a bigger boat.",
          "Open the pod bay doors, HAL.",
          "I’m a leaf on the wind.",
          "I am one with the Force, the Force is with me.",
          "By Grabthar’s hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged.",
          "Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code.",
          "Everything is awesome!",
          "How's that for a slice of fried gold?",
          "That's some catch, that Catch-22",
          "Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rain water, and only pure-grain alcohol?",
          "I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate",
          "Make it so",
          "That's just what I need – to get advice from someone who never saw Shane.",
          "This Is The Way",
          "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion",
          "I'm not even suppose to be here today!"
]

# Set slack status using legacy api
# https://api.slack.com/docs/presence-and-status
def set_status(message, emoji)
  # Read personal slack token from environment
  slack_token = ENV["SLACK_PERSONAL_TOKEN"]
  status_json = "{\"status_text\": \"#{message}\", \"status_emoji\": \"#{emoji}\"}"
  encoded = CGI.escape(status_json)
  data = "token=#{slack_token}&profile=#{encoded}"
  uri = URI.parse("https://slack.com/api/users.profile.set")
  https = Net::HTTP.new(uri.host,uri.port)
  https.use_ssl = true
  req = Net::HTTP::Post.new(uri.path)
  req.body = data
  res = https.request(req)
end

# Function to randomly choose when to update next between 4 and 24 hours
def randomSleep()
  prng = Random.new
  return prng.rand(240..1440)
end

begin
  puts '[' + Time.now.strftime('%b %d %T.%2N') + '] Starting up...'

  while true
    day = Time.now.strftime("%A")
    puts "Current day is #{day}"

    # Set staus for specific day or fallback to random status
    case day
    when "Thursday"
      status = "It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
    else
      status = statuses.sample
    end

    #Update slack status
    puts "Setting status: #{status}"
    #Optional emoji
    emoji = ":fargate:"
    set_status(status, emoji)

    #Sleep for random minutes to update again
    sleepTime = randomSleep * 60
    puts "Sleeping for #{sleepTime} seconds..."
    sleep(sleepTime)
  end
end